It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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