His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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