My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
