I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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