She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
