Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
