You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
