And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize