when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
