I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
