The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
