dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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