I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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