I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
