Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
