I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
