She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want to make out with him forever
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
