I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
