BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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