I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize