All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
