shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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