Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
