I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
