I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
