Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
