if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
