i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
