i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
