Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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