I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
