i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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