its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
