a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
