you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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