i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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