Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How's work?
Spinning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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