You just made me feel so damn special
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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