At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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