Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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