Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How external is "for external use only"?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
