There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
