I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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