dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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