I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
