You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i barfeds in our rink
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
