i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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