I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
