I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize