as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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