I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
