id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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