flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize