I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
