i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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