if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my being single is dangerous.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
