I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
