i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
