I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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