white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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