Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
