Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
