Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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