names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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